i go to a small filipino bakery near new office a lot this week. a $1.5 lunch, vegies, meat & rice, plus my new love, ufc ice coffee, cost only $.5. i feel myself in the mood of coffee again, sweet, strong & happy.

there’s a starbucks here also in phn, while obviously fake after the 1st try. a huge starbucks logo, with small letters saying that the cafe doesn’t have a liscence. the most special receipt i met also: the place the cafe, nothing relating except the green & white logo. mocha is not good there at all.

i play coffee music from arab and asia using my cool amplier which has an excellent bass, the 1st thing when i reach the hotel. loud, relaxing, jazzy, just love it…

my kitchin is a simple one, with a newly bought rice cooker and a knife used less than 5 times in the past 6 months. i never regret to bring it here since it’s going to bring a lot of fun and the desire for life. it iiiis already.

谢谢你的冷酷，让我恢复对生活的热情。

Getting into a society is not quite an easy thing, especially to low EQs.

I’ve received some funny and comforting messages when my cellphone got stolen, it was really stolen not lost. One of the messages I feel most funny: sister, cellphone stolen is a just a piece of cake, but don’t let your heart stolen, coming from Jerry, the bro-in-law. i replied him, is that any good waiting for me if not allowing my heat stolen? my cute Jerry bro. another: come to vietnam, it’s a socialist country, very safe here, no thief.

i was hoping to discuss a little bit about my feeling on current job and career plan with my boss. unfortunately not a good hint. trust and friendship is difficult to build in this case. i was just wondering why i always want a change. not easily satisfied? coincidently i thought of a gal, she enjoyed her work, a kind of crazy, very rare of her country fellows. from her i notice 100% positive attitude, 120% confidence, 80% sense of power (a little over), 60% modesty, complete sociablity, enjoy solitude, out-going, tolerance, almost every necessary features. i admire her to some degree, maybe the most successful career lady i’ve met in reality.

i got my phone back on the 3rd day. the theif answered my call and then there’s a police and nego dual game directed by my lovely office mates in phn, mr S and miss S. a strange kind of feeling i now have for this country.

阿猫说她知道现在为什么这么想回广州了，家乡是早已没有家了，不知不觉无意识间广州倒成了精神上的故乡，突然离开了犯了思乡病了。我也知道我现在为什么这么想回菲律宾了，甚至都等不及考试结果出来就打算是不是要回去工作再混个part time。真是佩服极了这样疯狂的丫头，各种理由都想得到，各种不好的负面的因素都渐渐变淡。

3年前的这一天下午意气风发的Rima同学拖着一大一小两个箱子离开了才住没一个月的万科豪华大屋，扔了陪伴自己好久的可爱的家什……3年前的这一天傍晚傻乎乎的她唰地落到了MNL，不费功夫就找到了帅气的Alex大叔，住进了BSA Tower，想那时Greenbelt 5还是地面上的一个大窟窿。可惜啊，直到离开也没能好好逛逛这块窟窿宝地，只是看电影前晃晃罢了。

思念的情怀，以此纪念这三年。

冬天刹那间转到夏天，还是觉得有些寒。又是一个人的旅途。似乎现在才真正感觉到这无比奔波的生活并不适合自己。除了各处购物的冲动，便是无尽的候机起飞和降落。并不能享受，只是在默默承受。因为一点事情给堂哥打了个电话，那种亲切让我又不能不怀念在菲的日子，尽管再次回去已满目疮痍、物是人非。自己简单快乐就好，工作的状态和感觉不是随时随地都会达到最佳，不能强求。每个人都有选择的权利，只要你想好了自己要什么。

一条不疼不痒的路快要走到尽头，说不上痛苦，心里总还是会扎得疼。有些人有些事，你可能永远都想不通。

冬日里的阳光。

2009.2.5，留下一个带疤的记号。

One moment you feel like just want to settle down somewhere in a cozy space, with certain friends, familiar environment, fixed destinations and unfixed routes am & pm. Celebrate when all are celebrating, stay calm and ordinary when it's just easy and cheer up when it's time to be up. You don't know where is such place and when you can reach there. It's always being a simple complicated question.

It may be easy to entertain people around; but it's really difficult to keep up with what you yourself want or even find out what's your inner needs. Satisfaction is not a new topic, while it's only now that you step on it. Certain group feel lonely and they are just ok remaining in such a state while others are not. That's where conflicts arise.  What you are after or is there anything you care about? Have you, have you ever feel like that you are important and valuable to someone, some people, some organization or the community? When such importance no longer exists in the old place, nilism is for sure the killing point. It's sad when you feel that, and even more upset if you share the same feeling with no one. Everything is just so different and completely new to some else. No one remember who's there and what's done before hand. Are people just so forgotful, or the drive of the organization is just so sophisticated, interest-oriented and on purpose?

Be yourself and stay awake even there's no such cozy little somewhere.

等待着，等待着，白了月亮，白了黑发

阴天的时候葬了我的白发丝

36小时后终于摘下来，似乎轻松不少

开始改变

100个人里有1个人上出租车会撞到头，那个人就是可怜的rima。rima自己在hn过着艰难的打仗的日子，就快结束了。有很多东西都快结束了吧。手心有颗痣，怎么都洗不掉。连3毛3算命的说她以后会一个人过，你说呢？

非正常的7月和8月。

原来每个变化都需要适应期。到头来才发现我对这变化没有丝毫的准备，非射手的宅女才会出现。过去两年多的生活，是真的告一段落了。那种乐观和悠闲，那种坚韧和不放弃，那些一个人独自走过的路，在以后的日子里希望能够提醒自己。不要忘记。即使记性再差，也希望不要忘记那些。换一个地方，也会让人没有安全感，需要精神支柱和信念，需要梦想和希望，才能支持自己渡过。一种动荡，只能靠自己，无人可以依赖，无人可以倾诉。电话只是偶尔响起甚至周末都不会响，不被需要和关注的感觉，真是可以杀死一个人。

要开始新的生活了，从今天开始。去超市买了3个多mi的水果和菜， 终于又找回过日子的感觉了。不要悲伤、不要善感、不要幻想，要相信。